We own the mountains!

I'm glad I have a lifetime subscription to Field and Stream because Exhibit A and Exhibit B point are pointing eagerly at Worst Case Scenario. Hence, I will begin formulating my survival plan.

The most important thing you can do is find a future shelter. Don't pick the same one as someone else. People will not be wild about sharing. This will be your own personal cradle of civilization.

Your cradle of civilization should be deep underground, preferably encased in some kind of indestructible material that has yet to be found. Check the labels on your fat roommate's briefs (If you're reading this blog you almost certainly have one). Avoid damp areas. Mutated mushrooms will attempt to penetrate your perimeter in the wake of the holocaust. Make sure it's in walking distance from where you spend most of the time. If your location has a toilet, you've won the game. If your location has toilet paper, someone is definitely going to come beat your ass.

Once you have selected a suitable location for your cradle of civilization (or CoC), begin appropriating supplies. This ranges from everything from food to guns to prophylactics (Yes, we all want to be in charge of a desperate band of thirty pregnant women.) Learn the land around you. Memorize the location of streams, lakes forests and possible food sources such as bee hives bear caves. Be prepared to defend what is yours.

With a little luck and perseverance, you'll build a depressing shadow of civilization populated mostly by suicide. The end result should look something like this.


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But, in all seriousness? Fuck those people. We're letting some these people decide the fate of the world? Fuck them. The rest of the world should be racing to stop these people. Us and them the same. Not under the banner of any nation, under the banner of sanity. Under a banner that reads "You have no right to decide the fates of those outside your borders you fucking pigs." Fuck.